I saved up all my pennies and I gave them to this special guy

[fabricatings]

He's not feeling himself. Not right. Something's scratching, clawing, and it's not because of the pain he imagines. It's not because of his life. It's because he needs something--anything. No oxy? Vicodin. No vicodin? Tramadol. Hydromorphone. Pethidine. All that mattered was that they were opioids and they were strong.

He tricks himself into thinking he can last at least a day with one pill. Briggs is convinced someone stole his tranquilizers, and even rounds on Mike. That's what sets it off--junkies aren't exactly ones for a stable environment. Briggs and Mike are both paranoid, powerful individuals who know how the other operates. It starts off as a fist-fight, Briggs claiming Mike took his drugs for drug money. Mike isn't exactly calm when he uproots the small table and begins yelling right back. The fact that he was thinking about it never comes up, but he goes for a walk.

He's still feeling it, the scratching inside his head. Like an insect, wanting to crawl out of his ear. And on top of that, he swears his gut feels like it's being stabbed. Like that knife is being sliced into him, over and over again. His lip is bleeding but he doesn't care--that pain is nothing compared to the flare in his abs, or the way even his teeth seem to be on fire instead of their usual numb state.

It's late by the time he tracks down his dealer after the other doesn't answer his texts. Slams him against the wall, demanding what he wants. Of course his dealer is out. Turns out, by the time Mike has actually beaten the shit out of the guy, the dealer is right. He's out.

"I know a guy, though," He says. "Hangs out at so-and-so a bar."

Mike's going to have to work for his meal, it seems, and he gives one last kick in the ribs to his dealer, tells him pleasantly he'll see him tomorrow and he'd better have some oxy squared away just for him.

To the bar he goes. He looks like shit--hasn't shaved, long hair--but he also doesn't care. All he cares about is the scratching, the pain--he needs that to go away. He just needs to track down who the fuck his dealer was talking about.

Comments

[47redbirds]

Mike is about to say something. Try his best to show he's fine, he's not shaking as much as this is, or sweating, or anything. It's nothing. Just symptoms left over from how emotionally traumatized he was or something of the sort.

His gaze, though, snaps immediately when he finds Billy's hand. The pill. Oxy.

Billy had fucking oxy. He knew, and Mike knew he knew, and his tongue darts out to wet his lips as he sits up a little straighter, trying to appear casual. Trying to act like it doesn't bother him, but eyeing it hungrily.

"Colin, you know I'm in pain, too, that's--you need give me some. Please."

[heroeswork]

Billy tilted his head, looking at the pill in his hand then back to Mike with a quizzical lift of his eyebrow. He could see how eager the man was. Perking up like a dog when the treats came out. Still claiming to not be a junkie, and yet shaking and sweating after less than twelve hours without a pill.

"This?" He asked, tilting his hand. "Oh, I know I put you through your paces, but I like to keep my toys in tact. But don't worry, I won't leave you hurting." He reached into the bag and produced a small bottle of Advil. He looked over the label, then back to Mike. "Fast acting, AND an anti-inflammatory. To help with those more...tender regions." With a smirk, he tossed the bottle toward Mike.

[47redbirds]

He takes it, manages to actually catch it with one hand, and brings shaking fingers closer to his face to read the prescription. Advil. It's fucking advil, and Mike's jaw opens, amazed, before he forces his mouth closed and clenches his jaw. He's trying to be patient. Trying to be well-mannered.

"Very funny," And he looks up, smile forced, right at Billy. "But you know I need something stronger for my side."

[heroeswork]

Billy frowned, looking Mike over where he sat. He'd been over that man's bare skin enough now to know it well from memory. He couldn't possibly mean the scar could he? He certainly didn't have any recent injury.

"Ooh, I'm sure you can tough it out. But, most people I know don't really need such strong pills so long past an injury." He rolled the pill between thumb and forefinger, staring at it. "But there is a certain class of people that no matter what, they need it. With out it the hurt just so bad. They start to sweat. Their hands start to shake..." He closed his hand around the pill, looking back to Mike. "Let's just hope the seizures don't set in."

[47redbirds]

Mike's eyes close as the other starts to describe what he's going through. They both know exactly what Billy means. Insinuating he's an addict.

He pushes his hair away from his face, buying him a split second to compose himself. To try again. He needs that pill. Needs it. It's not a craving, it's not something he could put off.

He had a seizure. Brief, but small. Enough for him to immediately go back to buy more. That had been when he met Kelly.Billy's words were still echoing in his ear--a certain class of people.

"Colin," He says softly. Carefully. Both of his hands move to each other, wringing his hands ever so slightly. "You know exactly what you're doing, and you know advil isn't going to work for this. Just oxy, or something to get me through.... Just that. just a few of those, Colin. You--you want me to apologize for earlier? I'll apologize, just--hand that over."

[heroeswork]

Billy let out a small snort of a laugh at the offer of an apology. They were never worth much from a junkie. Especially one he hadn't yet broken completely. Mike could apologize until he was blue in the face and it wouldn't matter. But Billy didn't care all that much about the bruises on his face. He'd had worse, and had the scars to prove it.

"What I want," he said, almost musing to himself. "Is for you to admit the real reason you need these wee pills so bad. Just say it, and I'll even give you two. If you want, I'll go back and get the pipe, just for you. But you've got to say it."

There was no better persuasion than that clawing, pulsing pain of one's body struggling to function without that buffer of numbness. But could he do it? Could he rob Mike his denial? Or would he keep holding on despite his pain? He'd much rather feed the addiction than break him of it. It gave him so much more control, using pills as rewards. But dragging him out of it would be so incredibly delightful to watch.

[47redbirds]

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Mike stares at Billy, half-smiles in disbelief. He'd almost killed him, and now? Now he's staring at those pills. Hungry for it, even though he's trying not to admit it.

He licks his lips, staring at the bottle. He just had to say it. Say what? That he was addicted? No. He couldn't be. But...

But he wanted those pills. Desperately. He inhales sharply, and his teeth scrape his lower lip before he speaks.

"Because it's going to hurt if I don't and you know it," He manages.

[heroeswork]

"Ooh, so close...." Billy mused, closing his hand around the bottle. He really did want to give Mike the pills, to keep feeding that addiction. But he couldn't be too lenient or the junkie would never learn.

"Since you very nearly hit the target, I'm going to give you one more chance."

With a cruel smirk, he moved closer. Reaching to grasp Mike by the chin. Holding the orange bottle before his face, ready to snatch it away if the other tried to reach for it.

"Why will it hurt?"

[47redbirds]

He doesn't want to say it. Doesn't want the words to come out of his mouth, falling from his lips like bile. Mike's conflicted, and it shows-- it shows, from his face right down to how his back is arching, just a tad, towards him.

How he got into this situation in the first fucking place.

Mike doesn't say anything for what feels like eternity, though he's not sure how much time has actually passed. His gaze never leaves the pill bottle, too fixated. Entirely too focused. He licks his lips, a habit normally saved for nervousness. Now it's just for want.

"Because," He says at last, and closes his eyes. "I can't survive without them. I'm--I just..I just need them, Billy. Give them to me. Please, man. Please. You want me to tell you I'm addicted? I'm--then I'm addicted."

[heroeswork]

Billy waited while Mike was silent. Watching the junkie, silent and stern, with a raised eyebrow. Waiting to see if Mike would actually say it. That one word that made him fight so very hard.

The most satisfied smirk stretched over Billy's lips, growing slowly as Mike spoke. He wasn't just breaking. He was falling apart at the seams. Desperate and frantic, still trying to hold himself together. Just enough to try and side step that word.

He let go of Mike's chin so he could open the bottle and shake out a few pills into his hand. The bottle was set aside and he turned his attention back to his very special pet. "And just what do we call that, Mikey?" His smile twisted, condescending as ever. "Answer correctly and you get not on the two I promised..." he held up the two white pills between thumb and forefinger, "but a third as a bonus." The third he held up with the other hand. All right in front of Mike's face. "Answer wrong and the number drops to zero."

[47redbirds]

It was cruel. Cruel and humiliating, and Mike felt like he was a goddamn dog. An animal, a pet. He'd be more ashamed if he wasn't eyeing the pills. Three. If he took them properly that could get him until tomorrow evening. That could get him a lot of shit.

The numb relief. The fact that nothing mattered. That could come to him, easy as pie, and Billy wouldn't even register as a problem.

All pulled back for what. Pride? Mike wasn't a proud man. Wasn't ashamed, just angry and in pain. "I told you," He said, louder. "I'm addicted. I already said it. Just give me the pills, Colin. Give me the pills."

[heroeswork]

Billy pulled a pained grimmace, as if he had truly expected the right answer. "Ooh, I'm sorry, that's not the right answer." He closed his hands around the pills and stood up, snatching the bottle as he went.

"Because you, Mikey, are far from addicted." He focused for a moment, to get the pills back into the bottle. "You passed addicted long before our paths crossed." He screwed the cap back on, making sure it was secure. "But when you beat up dealers and follow strange men into their vehicles in the middle of the night just on the hope of getting a pill? That--" he gestured with the bottle, making it rattle, "--is full blown junkie territory, my friend."

Finally he slid the bottle into his pocket. "We'll try again in a few hours, shall we?"

[47redbirds]

"Colin--" Mike's words were sharp. Not a warning, this time, though. Frustration had given way to something else: desperation. Those pills were slowly being taken away and after what he'd endured, how he'd fucked up by punching the other, this--this wasn't good. If he doesn't fix it now, he can't mellow himself out for whatever the fuck was coming.

His heart is hammering in his chest and he's trying his hardest not to panic too much. "Wait. Wait, wait--I didn't--how was I supposed to know you wanted those exact words? Admitting.. Admitting is the first step. Right?"

'So don't I get something?'

[heroeswork]

"Well..." Bill drew the word out, and the silence that followed after, his chin dipping toward his chest. "You knew I wanted a different word. That much I made clear. As well as the fact that it's an all-or-nothing game."

He gave a shrug, as though he weren't worry at all. It was out of his hands, and Mike had failed his test. "But.." he said, suddenly, as if he hadn't been planning this at all and it only just now occurred to him. He'd been trying to think of a way to get what he really wanted, and so far Mike was playing right into it. "I'm willing to give you a final chance. A different test. Pass it and I'm willing to give you the whole bottle. Think you're up to the task?"

[47redbirds]

Oh, God.

Mike lowers his gaze, scanning the floor like it held the answers. Hesitating, feeling like a wounded animal that's been offered something. The scorpion's tail.

The whole bottle. It's too good to be true. Too good, but that would last him--shit. He's doing the math in his head. He has to pass some fucking test and he gets the whole bottle.

As for what it is... Mike can't even imagine at the moment. All he can see is the bottle. Distracting him. He wants to ask if he can have a pill, just one, in preparation of whatever is going on. Now he's not so sure. But does he have a choice?

"Okay," He says finally. "Okay, yeah--yeah, whatever test. It's... It's fine. I'm up for it."

[heroeswork]

Mike was lucky he didn't ask for just one to get him through, because that would have been an automatic failure.

"Should you pass, I might even be willing to wipe your debt of what you did to my eye." Oh, had he said he'd forget about that? He'd kind of lied. He fully intended to hold it over Mike's head at every possible chance, until it healed.

The bottle was pushed into his pocket to free his hands. "What you're going to do, is knee right here..." he pointed to the floor in front of his feet. "And prove you can behave without turning violent. And perhaps we'll but be...happy by the time it's over." Even before Mike could move, Billy's hands moved to unfasten the button of his pants.

[47redbirds]

All he has to do is kneel. That's all he has to do. Mike licks his lips again, throat feeling far too dry, and glances down at the floor once the pill bottle is put away.

Fuck Billy's eye--Mike doesn't care about that, just cares about the pills and all he has to do is kneel. That's all, just kneel, even though the other's hands are near his pants.

Prove he can behave without turning violent. Mike's not stupid, he knows what's coming. His nostrils flare, jaw tight as that button on the top of Billy's jeans come undone. Again.

Slowly, carefully, he moved to his knees, ignoring the discomfort from the last session as best as he could, though he does half-hiss as he lowers himself.

"That's it?" He asks, though there's a note of caution in his voice. "Just...this one thing? And the whole bottle?"

[heroeswork]

"That's right," Billy said, one hand moving to Mike's hair, his fingers running through it. "Just this one thing...until I'm satisfied with your performance. Then the bottle is yours.

It was a trade off to see just what Mike thought was too demeaning. He wouldn't tolerate being forced to admit he was a junkie for three pills. But for a whole bottle, would he do this?

His hand moved back to his fly, so he could tug down the zipper slowly. His tone dropped to be far more suggestive, as if this were just a bedroom game. "Is that something you're up for, Mikey?"

[47redbirds]

Mike closes his eyes, screwing them shut, tight, and lets out a breath he didn't even know he had been holding. This was the fucking worst.

But the whole bottle. The whole bottle, not just one or two pills. It wasn't like it would last long. It wasn't like Billy was the one touching him. He could do this. Mike had to do this.

He doesn't realize his hands are slowly starting to shake, but not from withdrawal--from nerves. From humiliation. The room felt hot, too hot, as that hand moved to his hair, pushing it back.

"Just fucking do it," He manages. Keeps his eyes closed. If Billy hesitates for too long, Mike will psych himself out. Simple as that.

[heroeswork]

Billy's hand returned to Mike's hair, unable to stop himself from smiling. So demanding. So nervous. So...misguided.

"What are you expecting me to do?" Billy asked with a slight laugh. "This test isn't about enduring something. It's about...obedience." The fingers on Mike's scalp were gentle and encouraging. "You're going to both both those hands and that mouth to proper use."

[47redbirds]

Mike clears his throat, but it's not in preparation for anything--he looks to the side, face red and not because of anger. He's already getting cold feet. Second thoughts. Even with those fingers in his hair, surprisingly calming.

"Don't--" He sounds, for a moment, like he's going to be irritable. Quiets down, and doesn't say what he actually wants to say.

Don't laugh again.

For some reason, for some fucked up reason, that's what Mike doesn't want. He's willing to do it, if hesitating now, and he starts to fidget.

"Okay," he manages, ears burning red, "so--what, you want me to suck you off?"

[heroeswork]

At that terse word, Billy raised an eyebrow, his smile falling completely away. Were they already going to have problems with this? When he'd given mike so many chances... But the obvious heat in Mike's face was so incredibly satisfying.

But he stayed silent, giving Mike the time he needed to work through it. He wanted his new pet to know how to behave when it really came down to it. And that required patience.

So when Mike finally caught on, the smile returned, slowly creeping across Billy's face. He let out a low, deep chuckle. "You're finally catching on! Yes, that's exactly what I expect."

[47redbirds]

Mike looks pointedly at the floor the moment the chuckle happens. It's not quite a laugh, but it's close and Mike is willing himself to do it. Just go ahead and do it. He just.. Has to do it.

He drags his hands down his face, and there's some part of him that understands. That knows this whole thing is a line that they haven't crossed before--even with that bar between his feet, even with being fucked--Mike didn't instigate it. This was something he was willingly doing.

"The whole bottle," He tells himself. Doesn't realize he's said it out loud as he takes a deep breath and moves his hands to the other's jeans. Slowly, hesitantly, reaching to pull Billy's cock out, fully aware of those hands on the top of his head. His knees were already starting to hurt, most likely because of the way he'd been laid out beforehand. He fully expected bruises.

[heroeswork]

Billy licked his lips in hungry anticipation. He was already most of the way hard just from staring down at Mike like this. Coercing him into doing this. Knowing just how much Mike didn't want it, but was doing it anyway. It was thrilling, frankly.

"That's right..." he said softly, a gentle moan escaping with his breath. "The entire bottle..." A shiver ran through him, feeling those fingers on his cock. His breath hitched slightly, eager to feel Mike's mouth without the gag.

[47redbirds]

Maybe this would be over soon. That moan was a good thing and Mike was getting the entire bottle--all of those pills--enough to keep him numb through whatever the fuck was happening. He could do this. He had to do this. Even if he's never done this in his life.

Billy is half hard and Mike finally picks up enough courage to just do it, now that Colin is, already, giddy and anticipatory. It's a good sign. He tries to tell himself such, at least.

Mike, with just the barest hint of stubble as he does so, slowly takes a bit of Billy into his mouth. It's hesitant, unsure, and Mike's eyes are closed the entire time, but he's doing it. Sucking like he would a lollipop--he can barely remember what he likes courtesy of his girlfriends. Especially when in this drastically different situation.